“Guilty” Summer

I often hear people say, “you’re so lucky you get the summers off”. To an extent, I would agree. But then I remember the countless extra hours I spent staying late for meetings or to update my daily documentation notes that often get behind. I remember the evening & weekend phone calls / emails with resource agencies, coworkers, parents & police officers. I remember the tension migraines & restless nights spent worrying about students & their families. I deeply love my job, but every year by the time May rolls around, I feel weary — down to my bones, in every sense of the word.

Am I blessed to get a couple of months to completely unwind + recharge? Absolutely. Am I deserving of this free time? Absolutely.

& yet, why do I feel guilty for doing what feels like “nothing”?

When you are go go go for ten months straight, it can be kind of a lot. My brain is still in counselor mode. See a problem? Find a solution. Hear of a need? Find a resource. See an upset student? Comfort them. Have a student with low grades? Help them with tutoring. Hear of an injustice? Report it. Have a struggling coworker? Support them. I deeply love my job, but it is time to stop. It is time to take the counselor hat off & rest.

So my goal for this summer is to take the naps, go for the walks, watch the movies, lay by the pool, play with Piper in the backyard, read the books, listen to the birds chirp, have dinner with my family. & do all of it WITHOUT guilt. It is okay to be still. In fact, that is what I so desperately need by the time May rolls around.

The slow, cool evenings outside reading my Bible & The Bible Recap with Piper sleeping on my lap & listening to the town wind down has been so calming for my spirit. I am reminded at the end of the day that He is the reason for both the busyness & the stillness. & I am thankful for both.

He’s where the joy is!