"Still" Single
I've contemplated writing this post for a very long time & have gone back & forth on whether it's something I should put out there for the world (or at least a miniscule part of it) to read. But at the end of the day, the main reason for why I started this blog in the first place was because I wanted to create a platform to express myself -- from my favorite affordable clothing finds, to stories from a middle school counselor, to the joys & struggles of my heart. Today I'm choosing to be vulnerable & share in case there are any of you that need to hear this, too.
You know that saying about how you meet your very best friends in college? Well I was lucky enough for that to be true for me. Some of my very favorite memories happened while I lived with those women -- from movies + margs nights to heading out for a night of dancing in Aggieville, from Friendsgiving dinners to study dates in local coffee shops, & everything in between. For some reason, at least a few evenings a week, we would all somehow congregate in the kitchen & end up sitting on the floor talking for hours. Those "kitchen floor talks", about our hopes for the future & our struggles with the present, are what I'm the most thankful for.
After college, all four of my closest friends got married (& wow, they chose some real keepers). It has brought me so much joy to witness each of their relationships grow & change & deepen (some from the very beginning). In July & September, two of my friends gave birth to the sweetest little babies you ever did see. & while it has been so wonderful to see the love that they all share with their spouses (& now babies), I can't help but recognize the little grey rain cloud finding its spot over my head.
Because I'm 24 & still single. Based on the life stages my closest friends are in, I often feel like I'm "behind". Deep down I know this isn't true & I know that there are a heckuva lot of people that are much older than me who still haven't found their person yet either. & ya know what? That's okay.
Sometimes I think that I must still be single because I'm not worthy of love & if you feel that way, too, then I'm here to tell you something... girl, we couldn't be any more wrong. Each one of us is so worthy of love & belonging. We can still feel love in our day-to-day lives, even if we don't have a spouse or children. For example, some of the ways I feel love is when a student walks by my office while I'm working & says, "Hi Miss Rice!" with a big smile on their face, or when I get home from school & my cat comes thundering out of the bedroom to greet me with a purr, or when I'm leaving my parents' house & they say, "I love you, text us when you get home". You see, there is love all around me! But I have to be intentional about soaking it all up. Some days it comes naturally & some days it's a challenge. & ya know what? That's okay, too.
One of my worst + deepest self-critiques is that I'm not woman-enough because I'm not married or haven't had children yet. This thought is one that can send me plummeting to the darkest places in my mind, but Esther 4:14 is a Bible verse that I often fall back on to pull me back to reality. Whether you're religious or not, each of us was put here on this earth for a reason & with a purpose. My personal belief is that we each have multiple "purposes". To elaborate, one of the purposes of my friends who just became new moms is to raise kind + decent humans (& I have no doubt they will do just that). So what are my "purposes"? To be a helpful + respectful daughter, to be a kind + loving sister, to be a loyal + honest friend, to be a responsible grad student, to be an empathetic + supportive counselor, to be an encouraging cheer coach, to be an authentic "blogger" (if you can even call me that).
It doesn't make me less of a woman because I'm single. It doesn't make me less of a woman because I haven't had a baby yet. & it doesn't mean that I can't live out my "purpose(s)" every day.
Now, I won't lie. Challenging my negative self talk can sometimes be really really stinking hard. & yet, it's in my occupational wheelhouse! One of the many parts of my job as a middle school counselor is working with my students on how to change the mindset from negative to positive self talk! The picture below is one of my absolute favorites. No, I haven't found my person yet, but I also have no idea what my future holds. & ya know what? It's OKAY! That gives me hope! So, I'm going to do what my grandma always told me & *try* to bloom with grace, even in this season where I sometimes feel lonely & behind & not-enough.
Sister, whether you are married, a mama, or still waiting... please hear this:
These personalized beaded bracelets are one of my favorite Christmas gifts! You can put anything on them that you want, but I thought these words were such good reminders + look super cute (& are trendy with my middle schoolers lol). I got them for both of my sisters & my Mom got them for me!
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Also, this has absolutely nothing to do with being single (besides that these make me feel hotty totty) but wanted to share them because my code is only active for two weeks!
As many of y’all know, my makeup routine is pretty dang simple, except for when it comes to my eyelashes... I’m a perfectionist & know exactly what I’m looking for so sometimes it takes a while for me to get there. I heard about Flutter Habit lashes on Instagram & figured I ought to see what the hype was all about & y’all they are GOOD! You glue the lashes underneath your lash line & they stay on for 5+ days (my first set staged on for 7)!!!
I definitely do not consider myself a makeup guru by any means, so if I can apply these, anyone can! They’ve already saved me so much time in the mornings (waking up 10-15 mins later now woot woot)! I absolutely love how natural + subtle they look (these are the shorties).
I got their "collection box" which comes with five different styles with three sets in each box, meaning you get fifteen sets of lashes!
The best part of it all? I got y’all a code for 10% off!! My code is 10ALLI!
