Talk about it Tuesday.. it's okay to say no
The other day, Alli & I were trying to plan out a time we could chat on the phone for about twenty minutes to process some things & it was DIFFICULT to find time that would work for both of us. I have two kiddos at home that are busy with high school activities & have us running here & there, but Alli's schedule was even crazier than mine. As she explained all of her commitments over the next few days, she ended by saying, "ugh, I just need to learn to say no." I have thought about that statement several times in the last few days. I have a hard time saying no as well, so I totally get it. It is that unneeded self induced guilt that we place on ourselves. It has taken me some time (& it still doesn't always work), but I have found something that works for me MOST of the time. Did you realize that when you are saying no to one thing, you are actually saying yes to something else? Also maybe you saying no, is allowing someone else the chance to say yes when they might not have had the opportunity. Let me give you a few examples:
When Alli says no to doing the scorebook for the middle school volleyball game on Thursday night, she instead is saying yes to having time at home to meal prep, do some homework or maybe even just saying yes to resting so that she can offer her best to her students the next day. That "no", might also give Susie Q (who has really been wanting to learn how to do scorebook) the chance to say yes!
When I say no to helping with youth group on Wednesday nights, I am saying yes to having a warm meal ready & having intentional conversations with my girls when they get home from dance & practice. This is an interesting one, because they haven't even asked me specifically, but they have posted several times that they are needing help. I haven't actually said no to them out loud, but I have in my heart by not responding & I have felt the guilt for it. When I think about what I am saying yes to instead, then I feel peace about the situation.
Now, please hear my heart here. This is not for all situations, just those ones that you know you should be saying no to & are struggling with. I encourage you to practice reframing your thinking to what you are saying yes to instead & remember it's okay to say yes to yourself. Give it a shot this week & let us know how it goes!